I'm a week late getting to this blog post. I was avoiding and procrastinating. Because I didn't want to feel. I didn't want to open up the grief I had neatly stashed away in a pocket of my soul...didn't want to relive the pain of his loss after I had cried every tear I had left saying good bye to him. All of us who came to know Jonathan couldn't help but be inspired by him. And I was.
But there was more for me...I was changed by him.
He affected the course of my life deeply. Encouraging me to sing again, get back to music and finish that record I always wanted to make. Reminding me that we do not know how much time we get so waiting is unacceptable. Now I was used to being schooled by this old soul in a teenage body on many things, especially sports, but this one hit home...there was so much truth in it that I couldn't shake it. And so I did what he said. I brought music back into my life. And remembered a depth of joy I had forgotten for so long. He helped me reclaim the core of who I am which I had buried under 'wife', 'mother', 'business owner'....he lit the path to the corner of my soul where 'Tara' was waiting in the shadows. He helped me find my unfinished.
And I am changed.
Jonathan was incredibly special for so many reasons. He was an inspired speaker, a sports fanatic, a warrior, a superhero, a typical big brother, a loving son, Gibson's best buddy, a bright light in a dimming world.....he was all of that and more.
But there is one word I will remember him for the most...
Thank you for everything, Jonathan. I am forever grateful. Knowing you are pain free playing hockey in heaven soothes my soul. Save me a seat on the bench and a sweater...you know for sure I won't be skating LOL (although that would be entertaining for you) ...but I'll be there to sing the National Anthem for your big games. Until we meet again my sweet friend.
~ T xo