Words fascinate me. And the way I react to words tells me a lot about myself. With all the media focus on Harry & Meghan's wedding over the last few days, the word has been floating around a lot. Every time a television host says "she's living a fairy tale" or a "fairy tale wedding" I feel an eye roll coming on...a bit of resistance...and almost disappointment. Ok, straight up...the words make me cringe. So I'm wondering why do they make me cringe?? I know that I've never been very romantic; not sure why but the idea of being swept off my feet or carried off into the sunset is both nonsensical and terrifying all at once. Trust issues maybe?
Ok, that's another post.
But it does feel like there's more to my reaction than my trust issues. It might be the idea that young girls, through fairy tales, being fed the notion that 'their prince will come' and that they will feel 'complete' when they are 'chosen' or the mere idea of needing to be 'rescued' or 'saved' by a prince is both irresponsible and damaging. I see this dynamic play out in the music industry too...the idea of being 'signed' by a label has the same undertones as 'rescued' 'chosen' 'plucked from the masses because you are more specialer'...pretty sure that's not a word but it captures the nonsense of it all. And yes, it is changing slowly... being an independent artist has more street cred these days and we are now seeing the change in narrative with new 'fairy tales' like Brave & Frozen...strong independent women and love relationships other than prince/princess.
Maybe that's why it feels a little disrespectful to equate this wedding to a fairy tale with Meghan being well known as a successful, strong independent woman who speaks her mind a clearly does not need rescuing. So why is everyone using the word over and over again? I mean I get it...the castle, the horses, the carriage, the flags, the prince...sure, the setting screams fairy tale. But is there more?
If I'm honest with myself, there is a deeper layer to my reaction to the word....underneath the eye roll, I do feel love...I feel happy for them, genuinely. I feel like all is right in the world when I look at them. Not because she was 'chosen' but because they 'chose each other' in spite of all the challenges, in spite of everything that comes with saying yes to that love.
For Meghan to say yes to that love, she had to embrace an institution that doesn't always line up with her values. She had to be willing to let go of parts of her life to build this new one. For Harry to say yes, he had to brace himself for the potential push back for declaring a love that challenged a thousand year old institution and say yes to the ongoing choices he will make out of respect for that love.
So maybe this fairy tale really is about love and that's why it is resonating with so many people...because it's about the true meaning of love...being fully accepted for everything you are, everything you are about, everything that matters to you, even when it will pose challenges. Being loved for where you come from, where you are going and where you stand is a fairy tale I can read to my daughters...and sons.
Yeah, I'd ride off into the sunset for that.
But just maybe on my own horse. ~ T xo